Every day since the EU Referendum I’ve awoken to find that it’s still not a fevered dream created by the ingestion of too many red Smarties, absinthe and sucking the milk of crack-addicted whores.

Every day I awake to find that people who declare themselves much cleverer than the people who voted for them (which in itself should say something about the people who voted for them) keep on passing the whole pus-filled shitball, as though they are at a children’s party whose rules have been just made up by an amalgamation of Hitler, Charles MansonĀ and Kanye West.

Every day I awake to find that the country has been left to fester by people on both sides of the political divide who should never be let near an orgy at a furrys convention, never mind the levers of power.

And every day I wake up to find that death rayguns have still not been invented and probably would be illegal if so.

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